Crutch Time


You may know me as Bacchus, the proprietor and inebriated voice of In With Bacchus, that beverage and tobacco website that never updates. Whoops! I bet, right now, you’re wondering why I started ANOTHER website (technically, a second blog) when I can’t even update the first one. Good question! Allow me to elucidate.

The past few years have not been kind to me. With the loss of my job and continued health problems, both physical and mental, I have been struggling to both make ends meet and also not to turn into Gary Busey. My health problems are not something I talk about readily on the main website because…well…it doesn’t fit. Also, employment. People don’t like hiring crazy people even if it’s against a few laws and such. To be truthful, I’m not actually “crazy”. I am, although not officiated by the state government of NY, disabled. With what? Well..

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
  • Severe clinical depression
  • Spinal impairment / implementation (carbon fiber cage, two titanium rods, fourteen screws resulting in nine fused vertebrae) resulting from severe kyphosis (74 degree kyphotic bend)
  • One necrotic kidney
  • Other things that I’m not comfortable describing just yet

That last one is a big one but I’m not in any place to share exactly the minutiae. Suffice to say, it is incurable, potentially terminal depending on advancement, and causes a great deal of pain. The harm mitigating¬† daily treatments for it are not pleasant and that is putting it lightly. I am on a massive list of medicines with an average of twelve to fourteen pills a day. I don’t have it the worst of everyone but it’s still taking its toll on me.

So what does this have to do with video games? Well, for me, video games are an ever important crutch. I have been playing video games, in earnest, since my spinal surgery eleven years ago. Video games allow me, perhaps unhealthily, to escape from my physical pain and severe anxiety. I am currently working on coping mechanisms, as one should, but gaming has always been there and always will be to support me and help me. In video games, my anxiety slips away and the focus allows me to ignore the pain. I get to do things that I can’t do in real life and be things I can’t be in real life. I have also met some of my best friends playing video games, especially Final Fantasy XI and Final Fantasy XIV. I have cultivated deep friendships because of video games. But most importantly, and I think the most telling, video games allow me to be me, sight unseen. People can appreciate me for what I do, what I say, and how I act, rather than what I look like and what various medical equipment is attached to me at any point in time. It allows me freedom from the things that have slowed me down.

So what is the point of this website? Well, I’d like to share my experiences with whoever is willing to listen. To share my love of video games, my opinions, my humor, and maybe a bit of my pain (see above). In this point in time, being a “gamer” brings up many connotations; some positive, some negative. I hope that with my humor, my writing, my videos, and my streaming, I can offer insight into yet another facet of those playing video games. I will be as open as I can with you and I encourage you to be as open as you wish with me. If you need an ear, please feel free to get in contact on Twitter or via email. I plan, as equipment and budget allows, to do videos (Let’s Plays, non-graded reviews), some streaming on Twitch, and, most importantly of all, doing charity work with some charities that are near and dear to me (namely Able Gamers, Take This, and the Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital at Westchester Medical Center). I can’t promise much at this point because of my equipment (haven’t bought a new computer in 8 years) and my funds (I am unemployed, not on disability, and broke) so it might take some time. But I will do the best I can.

Thanks for reading and welcome to Bacchus Plays.

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